You know, I never really thought of myself as the blogging type. Blobbing, maybe. Actually sitting down and typing shit that other people read online? Not so much.
And yet, here I am. Typing. Wondering what pearls of wisdom I can contribute to the world at large that will enrich somebody's life. Or at the very least to get one other person thinking. If just one person in this entirely too fucked up society actually exercises their brain about a subject outside of their safety zone of TV and celebutards because of something I say (write, type, whatever) - just one person - then it's possible that this is not a total waste of bits and time.
So...let's get on with it, shall we?
This blog (hate the word, but don't have a better one at hand) will probably be sporadic at best. Weekly? Bi-weekly? Monthly? It definitely won't be daily. I have a day job (complete with commute) and a home life that take up most of my waking hours. After a typical day, the time after dinner is the "low brain power" phase prior to bed where I get to catch up on the news and gossip, play a few rounds of Freecell, and crash. I'm no longer a young man - sleep is good. Every once in a while I'll have some leftover energy from the day, but house, wife, pets, & kids usually take care of that. More often I'll find myself with time on the weekend. And even then, there are plenty of weekends that differ from the Monday - Friday span only in the fact that I don't go into the office.
Right now, this blog has no purpose or direction, other than to give me something to tinker with and a space to vent. I've read my share of blogs on politics, society,celebrity gossip, technology, humor, comics, news, stuff... I have no illusions of usurping any of these arenas. The folks who do those are far, far better at it than I ever intend to be. Does the virtual world need yet another ranting lunatic taking up kilobytes on some server? Probably not. Like I said, though, I see this as something to do and, hopefully, somewhat therapeutic. You know the whole, "if I don't vent to somebody I'm going to explode" syndrome? The web. Gotta love it.
What this blog will have is incendiary thoughts (maybe), provocative ideas (hopefully), ravings (almost definitely), and, as you might have already surmised, coarse language (oh, hell, yeah). If you can't handle the occasional off-color anglo-saxon expletives, then bugger off. It's the way I speak, ergo, it's the way I write. Funny how that works. I don't swear up a blue streak every time I open my mouth, but when something gets me going I don't particularly care to self-censor.
What won't be present will be personal attacks of non-public figures (in the public? fair game), racism, homophobia, porn ("[smut] is in the eye of the beholder" says Tom Lehrer), and probably a few other off-limits topics that don't come to mind right now.
Beware - if you are easily offended, or one of those who works very hard to be offended on the behalf of others - this will not be the blog for you. In polite face-to-face discourse with people I meet I work very hard to stay away from the big 3 (politics, religion, and profanity) until I feel I know enough about the person to know what I can get away with. There are very few people outside of my immediate family where I can just let loose. Sometimes this creates a bit of pent-up vitriol that has to just come out. What better place than the anonymity of the good ol' world wide web.
Which segues into another subject - anonymity. I don't intend to publish a lot of identifying information about myself. I'm married, have kids and pets, live on the U.S. east coast, and write software for a living. That's about all you get for now. Piece it together as time goes on. Your mileage may vary. If I've directed you here you probably know who I am and my background. If you've stumbled across this I'd be interested to know what brought you here, but you ain't gettin' my name, address, phone, DOB, SSN, height, weight, or shirt size just for the askin'.
And finally, the blog name. I wish I could say that I came up with it as some sort of social significance - you know "we are all primates therefore we are all related". Honestly, though? I pulled it out of my ass when I was setting up the blog. It asked for a signing name, title, and name for the blog and I drew a blank. Absolute fuckin' null-and-void. I must have sat there staring at the screen for five or ten minutes trying to come up with some devilishly clever idea that would inspire me to great heights and propel the blog into the annals (anals?) of history. Nothing. Zip, nada, nunca, nil, zilch, bupkiss, bugger all, not a sausage. Eventually I stepped back and looked at myself from a distance and saw not much more than a monkey sitting at a keyboard. Ok, that gave me the "primate" part. The grumpy and ranting piece just kind of fell into place afterwards. Like the saying goes - if you aren't incensed at what's going on, you haven't been paying attention.
So there you have it. The start of a beautiful friendship.
Signed,
GrumpyPrimate (ook, ook)
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1 comment:
My Gawd, you write very well. It's been a long time since I have read writing that flows so much like a conversation. It actually brings Stephen King to mind without all the imagination and scary stuff. Nevertheless, that was a hell of an analysis you did on the 200 election process, and you are right on the mark with what you said. It certainly is time for a re-vamp of the system since I think we all know it ain't working so well! Well, it is time for this lady to go to bed.
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